


Sunlight, sunlight

by fiireside



Category: Arctic Monkeys, Last Shadow Puppets
Genre: Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, Fluff, I'm Bad At Titles and Tags Are Hard but pls enjoy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-10-14 10:40:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20599394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiireside/pseuds/fiireside
Summary: Let's pretend Miles brought Alex with him to Ibiza last month and that they had a lovely romantic getaway that went something like this :)





	Sunlight, sunlight

**Author's Note:**

> _The harder the rain, honey, the sweeter the sun..._

The sun never seems to not be out in Ibiza.

Even at night, it’s hot, humid, suffocating in the best way, and in the day it’s sunny, bright and breezy, making everything feel a million times more romantic. Alex has left Miles’ side for maybe a total of ten minutes since they arrived here, affectionate and loving and full of life in a way Miles hasn’t seen from him in a long, long time. It’s almost as if the sun has been liquified and turned into the orange juice they have each morning, or perhaps vaporized and dispersed into the air they breathe, filling them with the most pleasant sort of warmth from the inside out. There’s something in the air and in the water of the sea that makes Alex’s presence, already electrifying and all consuming, that much more powerful.

Miles couldn’t be happier that Alex agreed to come to Ibiza with him. He thought he couldn’t be any happier than he was the moment Alex showed up at his flat in London, vulnerable and honest for the first time in what feels like forever, and confessed his true feelings once and for all. But somehow, this moment right now might take the cake.

It’s early morning. The sun is rising, making long, pinkish-orange beams of light come through the sheer curtains, creating shadows on their pristine hotel bed sheets. Alex is sound asleep, his body pressed against Miles and hands clinging to the pillow he’s buried his face into. He didn’t mean to wake up this early, but god is he grateful he did so he could see Alex in this light. His exposed back and messy hair look even more angelic lit by the sunrise, and Miles’ heart feels like it’s going to burst as he takes in every last detail of Alex next to him. They’d fallen asleep with Miles on his back and Alex on Miles’ chest, but Miles isn’t surprised to see how their positioning has changed. Alex may be one of the most restless sleepers he’s ever known, so finding him shifted around is never a shock – but it absolutely doesn’t go lost on Miles that Alex is still always somehow touching him in his sleep.

Slowly and gently so as not to disturb the beautiful sight before him, he runs his fingers lightly through Alex’s soft and sleep ruffled hair. He’s so glad Alex grew it back out. Of course, he loves Alex with any hairstyle, and he’d never say it, but the shaved head just didn’t suit him. And now combined with the strong association to Alex’s rough year in which he pushed Miles away in favor of a childish French woman he was using like a band aid over a gunshot wound, he can’t exactly say he misses it. Alex’s hair is such a part of him that he didn’t even seem like himself without it, and Miles missed so badly being able to run his fingers through that mop of fluff he knows so well. He knows Alex missed it just as much, amongst all the other things he likes Miles to do to his hair.

Alex lets out a slightly louder than normal exhale after a few moments of Miles playing with his hair. He starts shifting around, this time rolling onto his side, facing Miles. He dramatically throws one arm across Miles’ chest and pushes his face up against Miles’ shoulder, and for a second he worries his racing heart will wake Alex from his peaceful slumber, but it doesn’t seem to disturb Alex, even as his fingers spread so his palm is pressed onto Miles’ skin. Miles feels like he’s gotten good at telling when Alex is having a good dream, a nightmare, or no dream at all based on his facial expressions and the way he moves in his sleep. Right now, it seems he’s having a good dream; his face is relaxed, his breathing is slow and even, his body curling into Miles’ in the most innocent of ways, and Miles feels absolutely on top of the world.

**~**

“C’mon, it’s warm, Al!” Miles calls from where he stands in the pool. He’s just finished letting James take pictures of him for his upcoming Instagram posts and whatnot, and now that James and Jay and the others have both left to go down to the beach, it’s just Alex and Miles alone in the villa’s pool. Alex is standing on the side of the pool with his arms crossed over his bare chest, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he contemplates the water.

“But I showered this morning,” he complains. “We shouldn’t waste so much water, Miles. It’s bad for the environment.”

Miles rolls his eyes, behind his sunglasses where Alex can’t see. “Alex, I swear to god if you don’t get in right now I’m going to get out and throw you in,” he all but growls, swimming over to the edge where Alex stands to peer up at him. Alex just purses his lips and then finally sighs, unfolding his arms and kicking off his shoes.

“Alright,” he mutters as he sits on the edge and carefully dips into the pool legs first, landing solidly next to Miles. “I’m in. Happy now?”

“Mmm, yes,” Miles hums as he moves to wrap his arms around Alex’s waist, leaning in to kiss him gently. “It’s been a while since we went somewhere together like this.”

“It has,” Alex agrees, wrapping his arms around Miles’ neck. “I missed seeing you in swim trunks. You looked so hot earlier when James was filming you. Wanted to jump you right then and there.” Miles can see the blush rising in his cheeks, a different sort of blush than the one he gets from being physically overheated. It makes his heart flutter in his chest for a minute.

“Is that right?” he plays, laughing when Alex just bites his lip. “Well, there’s plenty of time for that later.” He starts walking backwards in the water, pulling Alex along with him as he speaks. “For now, let’s just… enjoy all this. The sun, the pool, you and I.”

Alex smiles and clings to Miles more, the warmth of the water and the warmth caused by Miles’ proximity filling his body and making him feel like he’s simmering. Just as he opens his mouth to say something, Miles suddenly grins widely and sharply leans back, pulling Alex down with him so they both end up submerged in the water. Alex protests instantly, but not quick enough to avoid getting dunked and his hair soaking wet. He pushes at Miles, forcing him to let go of him, and sputters when his face is out of the water. Miles follows him up and practically cackles once he’s able to breathe again.

“Are you kidding me?” Alex shouts as he wipes his eyes, glaring at Miles.

“I had to,” Miles laughs. “You just make it so easy.”

“Bastard,” he snarls. He lunges and dunks Miles back into the water, and before they know it, they’re play fighting like thirteen year olds, the both of them ending up breathless from being underwater and laughing, very much in need of a shower and a nap.

It’s times like this when Miles is reminded that through it all, all the pining they’ve gone through, the unresolved sexual tension so thick you could cut it with a knife, the occasional bouts of jealousy, the girlfriends who didn’t deserve to be lied to, whatever, Miles is glad that at the end of the day, they’re still best friends. Best friends who know each other better than anyone, who can read each other’s minds, who never get tired of each other’s company. When it comes down to it, they are simply each other’s best friends, and nothing will ever be able to change that.

**~**

Miles didn’t tell him he was going to put it in the setlist. It caught Alex off guard as much as it did the fans and everyone else. Alex only has to hear Miles strum one chord to know what song he’s playing, and _oh_ what a song it is. Memories come flooding back: the two of them sharing microphones, their noses brushing against each other, guitars pushed behind them or handed off to the roadies so they could stand as close as possible to one another. Memories of all the nights they spent together that summer and all the days they shared, from their biggest crowds to the smallest moments. Alex’s mind is suddenly hazy, and his heart is racing in his chest as if trying to push through the trance Miles has put him in.

It’s a futile effort though, Alex thinks once the soundcheck is over and Miles’ voice is no longer filling his ears. As if there’s anything that could snap Alex out of the state Miles’ presence puts him in, especially in moments like this when he makes some not so subtle gesture as if reaffirming to Alex_, yes, I’m glad you’re here, I missed you, I love you_. He basically whispers as such into Alex’s ear after he steps off the stage and makes his way over to where he and Miles’ friends watch, swooping in to press a lingering kiss to Alex’s lips before Alex even has the chance to respond. Alex just beams at him and wraps his arm around Miles waist, pressing his nose against his shoulder and inhaling softly. He’s sure he looks like a complete loon, clinging to Miles and smelling his shirt, but he can’t help it. They’ve spent so long apart, even longer trying to ignore their feelings for one another, and now with Miles singing _their_ song to a crowd of his own, basically publicly welcoming Alex back into his life, Alex feels like the luckiest person in the world.

“You’re going to make me cry if you put that in your actual setlist tomorrow,” he says to Miles once his friends are done praising him and have started to disperse, leaving the two of them to themselves.

“Oh, you just wait, Al,” Miles replies with a smirk in his voice that Alex doesn’t have to see to know is there. Miles presses a kiss to his temple and pulls him a little closer with the grip he has on Alex’s shoulder. “Gonna have you crying later tonight for an entirely different reason.”

Alex’s blushes furiously, still after all these years not used to Miles’ boldness (even if he is mainly joking in his delivery) and always taken aback by the effect Miles has on him. “You naughty turtle,” he giggles, bringing a hand up to run his fingers over Miles’ stubble.

“I actually do have plans for us tonight, though,” Miles says more seriously. “So don’t stray too far.”

Alex just smiles brightly when Miles looks down at him and their eyes meet. “As if I could ever,” he says so softly Miles barely hears it. And with the way Alex’s heart seemingly flips over in his chest when Miles drops a warm kiss on his cheek, he’s certain he’s never going to be able to get out of Miles’ magnetic orbit – as if he would ever want to. Now that he knows what it feels like to be fully, truly Miles’, he’s never going to give it up.

**~**

Miles’ plans for them turned out to be a sunset picnic on the beach, with Miles’ acoustic guitar, Spanish sangria, fucking flower petals scattered around, and takeout from a nearby restaurant. He’s laid out a blanket for them and everything – the set-up is so incredibly romantic Alex feels like it’s not real and this is all just a joke someone is playing on him. But it is real. And just as real is Miles standing behind him, his hands running up and down Alex’s arms.

“So?” he says gently after a moment of watching Alex stand there with his jaw dropped. Alex really doesn’t know how he pulled this off; he’s just so taken aback by the surprise and the meaning behind it that for a minute, he’s left literally speechless.

“Miles,” Alex breathes. “I don’t even know what to say.”

Miles chuckles and kisses the back of Alex’s neck firmly, fingers now lingering on his Sheffield tattoo and the spot where his ex’s name used to be. “Well, while you think on it,” he starts, his warm breath hitting Alex’s neck, “let’s eat. I’m fucking ravenous.”

Alex just nods and lets Miles take his hand, guiding them to sit down on the blanket. They sit down cross legged, very close to each other, and Alex tightens his fingers around Miles’ so as to keep him from separating their hands. They’re back in their swim trunks, mainly because Miles told Alex earlier that he’s not allowed on the beach in jeans and Chelsea boots again. Alex’s white Henley is practically see through, and Miles’ new merch tank with the word “crispy” printed across it in all caps does nothing but give Alex a full view of all the muscle he’s put on these last several months. Alex can’t help but just stare at him, watching him open the sangria and pour them two full glasses. Miles just smiles at him as Alex closes his fingers around the glass, the two of them tapping the glasses together and then both taking a long swig.

“Miles, this is amazing,” Alex says after a moment and after another sip of the sangria. “Thank you. For, well, for this, obviously. But thank you for bringing me. For... for forgiving me. This is so lovely. I don’t deserve you.”

“Yes, you do,” Miles insists, opening one of the takeout boxes and handing Alex a fork. “I’ve wanted us to be together for so long, so thank _you_ for being honest and letting us reach this point. You have no idea how happy I am that you’re here, Alex.”

“I do,” Alex mumbles with a small smile on his face, but Miles hears him all the same. They eat for a bit, enjoying the other’s presence, chatting and laughing, downing the sangria, watching the sun slowly descend beyond the horizon, the sky an array of pinks and reds and oranges. At one point, after Miles has Alex nearly doubled over from laughing, Miles reaches up to push the hair that’s fallen forwards out of his eyes, letting his fingers trace down his face until his thumb rests on Alex’s bottom lip. The eye contact they make feels incredibly loaded, but neither of them move. Miles just smiles at Alex’s flushed face. He never gets tired of how easy it is for him to rile Alex up.

“You’re so beautiful, Al,” he whispers without thinking. Alex in this lighting reminds him of this morning when he woke up during sunrise and just got to watch Alex sleep, peaceful and sated. The angles of his face and colors in his hair are all so much more defined and vibrant in this light, and it makes Miles’ heart swell. When Alex looks at him and smiles in that way that makes his cheeks round out and his eyes almost sparkle, Miles nearly forgets how to breathe. “I love you,” he says dazedly, unable to take his eyes off Alex.

“I love you, too,” Alex says in the same dazed tone. Miles pushes their now empty food containers away and reaches for him, holding his chin between his thumb and forefinger and pulls him in to kiss him. Every kiss with Alex feels like a first kiss, as cliché as it sounds, partially due to how long it’s taken them to get to this point of contentment and bliss, but mostly due to how much they love each other. His body tingles where it touches Alex, his heart like a hummingbird behind his ribs, and he feels so light he thinks the both of them might just float away. Miles falls onto his back, taking Alex with him without breaking the kiss, so now Alex is hovering over him. Alex just giggles breathlessly against Miles’ mouth and shifts so he’s lying completely on top of Miles, fingers running through his hair, sighing when Miles tongue brushes against his own. He’s completely forgotten where they are – forgotten how he was irritated about the sand that kept getting blown into his food, forgotten how they were even eating a few minutes ago – and is just completely enraptured by Miles. Miles, Miles, Miles.

Miles pulls back to breathe after what feels simultaneously like forever and a split second. They pant against each other’s lips, foreheads pressed together and fingers in each other’s hair. Alex is smiling that bright, wide smile that only Miles brings out of him, and it makes Miles smile the same way in response.

“You know,” Alex says quietly. “I’ve never actually had sex on a beach before.”

Miles just laughs, letting his hands slide down Alex’s neck to pull him in to give him another long, slow kiss. “Not yet,” he says. “It’s still too light out for that.”

Alex groans lightheartedly and rolls off Miles, lying flat on his back and grabbing Miles’ hand. Miles sits up and only releases Alex’s hand when he pulls his guitar into his lap, catching Alex’s attention. “Gonna serenade me?” Alex asks teasingly, moving onto his side and propping himself up on his elbow. Miles smiles widely and strums the first chord to one of his own songs, the one he and Alex wrote together, about each other.

“Yeah, I am,” Miles chuckles. “This next one’s called ‘Color of the Trap,’” he announces in an exaggerated voice, throwing an arm out dramatically, drawing a quiet laugh out of Alex. He beams as Miles resumes his strumming and starts singing. It’s so, _so_ incredibly cliché, what they’re doing right now, but Alex can’t find a single piece of him that cares. He’s hypnotized by Miles’ voice and the atmosphere he’s created. There’s no one else on the beach in sight, and it truly feels like the two of them are in their own world, or rather the only two people in the world. Alex quite literally jumps on Miles the second the last word of the song leaves his mouth, grabbing his face and kissing him fiercely, messily, his lips first landing awkwardly on the skin right beneath Miles’ lower lip. It only makes them both laugh at Alex’s haste as they readjust and Alex kisses him properly.

“You know how I love that song,” Alex murmurs when they part. “I love you so much, Miles.”

Miles literally can’t stop smiling. It seems Alex can’t either; their eyes only leave each other later in their evening when it’s dark enough to gaze up at the stars, clear and sparkling in the sky above them. They stay on the beach till past midnight, singing, kissing, swimming, stargazing, talking, and more kissing. Alex can check “sex on the beach” off his bucket list, if he’s counting Miles making him come with nothing more than his hand down the front Alex’s shorts and whispered words into his ear (which he absolutely is). The bottle of sangria is long gone, the breeze is warm and the air is heavy, their heads dizzy and hearts racing.

This trip – intended as primarily a professional trip for Miles’ gig and video filming – feels like a honeymoon, almost, and in some ways it is. No matter what it’s become in Miles’ head, though, the reality is it’s him and Alex, in love and together, and that’s more than he thought he could ever ask for.

**~**

It’s been a while since Alex rode on a motorcycle.

The vespa he’s currently on is much different and easier to operate, but the feeling is the same. The thing he misses most about living in LA is without a doubt the motorcycle rides he made a part of his daily routine. He missed the thrill of it, missed the wind blowing against him, the heat of the sun seeping into his skin, the feeling of someone’s arms around his waist. He misses all that more than he hates the way his hair looks after he takes his helmet off.

He’s rented out this vespa so he and Miles can take it and enjoy the view of the sea from every possible spot on the island. As a small way to try and repay Miles for the previous night, both the beach date and the proper sex they had once back in their plush hotel bed, even though he’s exhausted. He barely stirred when Miles kissed him goodbye this morning on his way out to filming for his music video, finding a poorly drawn turtle with a heart overtop it on one of the hotel post-it notes on the bathroom mirror once he finally did get up. God, he loves Miles. It never fails to amaze him how wholly and entirely he loves him.

When he arrives at the set of Miles’ video, he finds Miles leaning against the hood of a fancy red vintage looking car, several of his friends around with cameras out. Everyone’s laughing – especially Miles. He could hear Miles’ laugh from a mile away, that boisterous, sunshine laughter practically summoning him. He spots Alex almost immediately, shock evident on his face as he takes in Alex on the Spanish vespa.

“Alex!” he exclaims, running over to him. He tries to smooth down his surely messy, wind-blown hair, likely to no avail. Once Miles is close enough, he pushes his hands into Alex’s hair, too, as if to help with the restyling effort. “What’s this?” he asks.

“Thought we could go for a ride,” Alex answers simply, kissing Miles’ cheekbone. “It’s a beautiful day.”

“Every day is a beautiful day here,” Miles points out.

“Exactly,” Alex says. “How much longer are you needed here?”

“Oh, we’re done, we’ve just been pissing about,” he says. “Let me go say goodbye first.”

Alex nods and smiles as Miles kisses him briefly before turning back to his friends. He comes back and climbs onto the vespa behind Alex, wraps his arms tight around Alex’s waist and rests his chin in the crook of Alex’s neck. Alex revs up the motor and then they’re off, zipping along the narrow roads along the coast of the small island. Miles can’t help but kiss Alex’s neck every now and then, much more focused on the man he’s got his arms around than the views off to the side. When they stop at a light, Alex lightly whacks Miles’ arm and leans back on him. “Stop that,” he giggles. “You’re distracting me. I don’t want us to die.”

Miles just bites his neck in response, pulling a grumble from Alex’s throat, before leaving off and leaning his head onto Alex’s shoulder, watching the world go by them. Or rather, watching them go by the world. Just like the night before, it feels like they’re in a world no one else can even dream of entering. A world where nothing matters but the two of them, where nothing _exists_ but the two of them. Alex drives them around for more than enough time, and still neither of them are tired of it when they stop. It’s their hunger and other basic needs that force them to return to the hotel where there’s food and water and a shower. They also have to return for Miles’ gig later, virtually forgotten in the way they got so caught up in each other.

“I missed those rides,” Miles says as they dismount, wrapping his arm around Alex’s waist once more. “Thanks, love,” he whispers into Alex’s hair. Alex wraps his arm around Miles’ waist much the same, and the two of them stumble as they walk into the villa in their refusal to let go of each other even for a second. Alex blushes at the wolf whistles they receive from Miles’ friends at the poolside who see them enter, but in all honesty, he really couldn’t care less. He’s proud to have Miles. He’s proud to _be _Miles’. And he wants everyone to know it.

**~**

He has to admit – it’s weird singing Alex’s parts of the song. He knows Alex hearing him sing this song at all will have him over the moon, speechless and touched. Honestly, he probably didn’t even really think Miles was going to do it when he joked about it the night before on the beach, but here he is. Constantly surprising Alex and thinking up more and more ways to show him how much he wants him in every facet of his life. It’s like this whole trip they’ve been trying to one-up the other on who can show their love in the most meaningful way, and they’re both winning.

Meeting Place always was a very bittersweet one for them to perform. The sound is so light and airy, but the lyrics are heavy with meaning – intentionally done that way, but it never fails to give Miles that icy feeling right in the center of his chest. Playing it now, though, acoustic and with his voice only is very different. It’s meant to be a “welcome home,” but somehow it feels more like an apology of sorts, a step further than the gesture of performing Standing Next to Me the day before at his soundcheck. This is a proper gig and Miles has included not one but _two_ Shadow Puppets songs, knowing full well the effect it has on Alex and the implications it gives to the world. He lets his eyes drift to Alex in the back every now and then. Alex, whose eyes are shining with unspilled emotion, doesn’t look away for a single second. And how could he with the way Miles so captivatingly performs with nothing more than his voice and an acoustic guitar. Maybe it’s because he’s so in love with him, but Miles puts him in a state of pure awe every time Alex sees him perform. Maybe that’s _why_ he’s so in love with him. It doesn’t make a difference regardless. The fact of the matter is Alex couldn’t be more touched by the gesture, and he couldn’t be more enthralled with Miles’ performance.

“You’re incredible,” Alex praises the first chance he gets. They leave the open area of the bar and seclude themselves to where no one else can see them – where Alex can throw his arms around Miles’ neck and kiss him, exhaling through his nose onto Miles’ face. Miles smiles against his mouth as his hand comes up to cup Alex’s cheek.

“Thank you, my dear superstar,” he jokes when their mouths separate. Alex just rolls his eyes. “You know your opinion and presence means the most to me,” he says, hugging Alex to him. “How was it standing back with Jay and James?”

“Oh, you know, fine,” Alex says, very blasé. “They just made jokes about our sex life the whole time, and then took the piss out of me for getting emotional when you did Meeting Place. So nothing out of the ordinary.”

“Sounds about right,” Miles chuckles. “C’mon. I’ll get back at them for being so cruel to you the whole show.”

Alex’s stomach is full of butterflies at Miles genuinely being so unnecessarily protective of him, untangling himself from Miles to simply intertwine their fingers. He runs his thumb over the metal of Miles’ rings, trying to memorize the feeling of his palm against his own, the contrasting chill of his jewelry, the warmth that oozes like honey into his veins and fills him entirely. Miles drags them back over to where everyone else is, and they all have a great, delightful evening, but Alex’s eyes don’t leave Miles for a single moment.

**~**

This time, it’s Alex who is awake in the dead of night watching Miles sleep peacefully.

He’s not surprised he’s the one up; Miles tends to exert himself more during sex, being the giver he is, and it’s not like Alex is going to protest Miles’ enthusiasm, happy to let Miles tease him endlessly and make him beg for it. After sufficiently wearing themselves out, they’d fallen asleep in their classic post-sex position, with Alex on his side and Miles curled around him less like a big spoon and more like a clingy koala, or an oversized jetpack. Now, though, in the middle of the night, Alex finds himself on his back, one of his arms trapped beneath Miles’ neck as he sleeps on his stomach, face planted into the pillow Alex’s arm somehow ended up across. He can’t find it in him to be bothered by it though. Even though his arm is going numb and his eyelids are heavy with exhaustion, everything else fades out as he looks over Miles in the moonlight beside him.

He really can’t believe how lucky he is. Lucky Miles took him back, lucky Miles loves him like this, lucky he even met Miles in the first place. He doesn’t know really what snapped in him to bring him to Miles’ doorstep little over a week ago, to apologize to Miles for everything he’s ever done and confess all the feelings he’s worked so hard over the years to repress. He supposes everyone has their breaking points, and he had just reached his. One can only handle so many ineffective distractions from what’s eating away at them, and Alex is only human. There’s a point to which his self-sabotage begins to work in reverse and makes him so miserable he can’t stand it anymore and will readily toss away his pride to beg for forgiveness.

He’s so incredibly happy that it’s worked out like this and that he’s had this time with Miles. It feels like a dream – especially right now. Miles looks like an angel in the dim light, spiky hair ruffled around, features still and relaxed (for once), breathing even and bare skin radiating the grounding warmth Alex needs. He almost feels crazy with how much he loves Miles. It feels like it’s in every cell of his body, like his love for him is literally coded into his DNA, an inescapable fact of his being. Like they were going to end up here no matter what. It’s always just been the two of them. Regardless of who their girlfriends are or where they’re living, they always come back to each other in the end. Sometimes it just takes more time, and more heartache.

After a while of getting lost in his own head, Alex can’t take the weight on his arm anymore. He tries to pull his arm out from under Miles without disturbing him, to absolutely no avail, as Miles wakes the second his position is disturbed, lifting his head suddenly and blinking his eyes open. He’s not quite fully awake, though, Alex can tell. He knows Miles well enough by now, the same way he knows Miles knows him.

“Hey,” he whispers, running his thumb over Miles’ stubbled jaw and pushing his fingers into Miles’ hair behind his ear. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you. You were killing my arm.”

Miles grumbles something Alex can’t make out and throws his face back into the pillow. “Why are you up?” he asks, voice muffled.

“Happens sometimes,” he says solemnly. It’s something he’s grown used to – waking up in the middle of the night for absolutely no reason, unable to fall back asleep sometimes for hours. It’s just something his brain does to him, along with all the other shit he hates to think about. “Can’t get back asleep,” he adds after a moment.

Miles turns his face so he can lock eyes with Alex. “Sorry, babe,” he says gently. Alex shrugs. “C’mere,” he says as he reaches for Alex, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him into his chest. He runs one hand through his hair and the other across the skin between his shoulder blades, already mostly asleep again. Alex is now nearing it too, lulled into unconsciousness by the comforting feeling of Miles’ fingers, the familiar smell of him filling his nose, heart rate steady and calming. He’s so, _so _glad Miles forgave him. He doesn’t know what he’d do if he had to go his entire life without this sort of intimacy and connection. He knows he certainly would feel overwhelmingly numb and sinkingly miserable, the way he did the entirety of the year he spent pushing Miles away.

He thinks he’s learned his lesson from that, though. In a way, their being together now is almost made better by all the strife it took to reach this point. They know how hard it is to be without each other, they know how wonderful it is to be with each other. Maybe, just maybe, they – or rather, _Alex_ has finally got it in his head that this is where he belongs. In Miles’ arms, in his bed, in his life. He’s right where he’s meant to be, and he’s decided he’s not going anywhere anytime soon.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! i wrote this a few days ago before miles' music video came out and before they were spotted together out and about in london so... what can i say :) 
> 
> i'm on [tumblr](http://fiireside.tumblr.com) available to scream whenever


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